Taking on a huge project? I can relate. This year has been a rollercoaster with three weddings (one my own!), a funeral, and a career change. Throughout it all, I learned some surprising life lessons that linger on. If you're embarking on something big too, you might find these insights helpful. Let’s begin!
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This is my first truly, 100% free morning in… um, forever? No to-dos on scraps of paper. No appointments to hurry to. No tasks on my phone's list. No plans at all! Just me, my coffee (still warm, still perfect) and this big, beautiful day ahead of me.
Outside, the winter-blue sky is dotted with little blue tits (hehe, that’s how they are called in English? In German it’s “Blaumeisen”) having loud conversations.
Me? I’m here, sinking into my couch, soaking it all in, and feeling more still than I have in months.
Then, out of nowhere, I notice a weird feeling. Not bad, not good, just... strange. A little restless. A little hollow. What is this? And then it hits me. Oh my gosh. I know this. I know this! I haven’t felt it in ages.
I’m bored.
Bored!? Seriously? I’ve had every possible feeling this year—joy, stress, grief, exhaustion, excitement, all of it. But boredom? Not once. This year has been so packed, boredom didn’t stand a chance.
Back in March, my partner and I decided to get married this year instead of next. I thought, okay, that’s a lot, but manageable. Then, my best friend’s wedding popped onto the calendar, followed by my cousin’s (in Japan, mind you!). That alone would’ve been a full year. But no, I had to toss in a career change, because the opportunity was too irresistible. And then, because life always has the last word, we also faced a big loss in the family.
It’s been a lot. A lot. Like, one of those years that feels like it’s crammed with a decade’s worth of stuff. Every emotion on the spectrum showed up at some point. But boredom? Boredom stayed far, far away. Until this morning. And oddly enough, it feels like a gift. Because boredom means I finally have the brain space to think and to reflect. To realize that this year has given me so much more than an album of memories (plus plenty of anecdotes to share at dinner parties).
It has also given a good handful of life lessons. The kind that take time to sink in, until you finally understand—oh, that’s how I’ve changed the way I do things now. And it’s not just about planning a wedding (which, yep, is as crazy and wonderful as everyone says), but about any big, life-changing, all-consuming task. Like moving houses/states/countries. Starting a new career. Creating a blended family. Fixing up a house. The kind of projects that take over your life for months.
So, this year has gifted me with so many things, including a couple of life lessons. In case you’re staring down a big project, here are the five lessons I’ve learned this year that might help.
Life Lesson #1: You can’t have it all.
This sounds harsher than I mean it to. But really, it's just math: 24 hours in a day, no more, no less. And when a big, all-consuming project elbows its way into your already crowded life, something's got to go.
What are you ready to give up? But perhaps more fundamentally: What will you not sacrifice, come what may? These priorities - your non-negotiables - become your compass. They'll be your guiding pillars when everything else feels like it's up for grabs.
For me, in the lead-up to the wedding, it was all about feeling good in my own skin on the big day. So, it was pretty easy to decide on my top 3 priorities in the lead-up: healthy eating, regular exercise, and enough sleep to keep the wheels turning. But to make time for the former, I needed to take time away from other stuff that I loved: reading books, meeting friends, binge-watching shows, writing on my blog, nice walks. Even a visit to my grandfather in Romania had to wait.
Was it easy? Nope. But I kept myself motivated by thinking about the beautiful event, the big day(s)! And also by reminding myself that I get to chill and relax afterwards. (Oh, and not to forget the promise of indulging in as much wedding cake as I could manage my wedding day-which I did, by the way 😊)
Life Lesson #2: Know what you’re signing up for.
I mean, you won't know everything - especially if it's your first time doing something big – but doing a little research can really help. It really helps to understand what you're signing up for. Try to figure out the basics. For example, how much time will this take? How much money? How much mental energy? And who can you ask for help when (not if) things get overwhelming?
Also, build in some buffer time. Because life? It's gonna life. Deadlines, surprise hiccups, sick days, or last-minute changes-they're basically a guarantee. If your project has a hard deadline - a wedding date, a move-in day - work backward and give yourself plenty of breathing room along the way.
And here's the thing I cannot stress enough: you need breaks. A free day from time to time, or even a week off, can make all the difference. About two months into wedding planning, when stress basically was my full-time job, and I couldn't see straight anymore, we hit pause and spent a week in Denmark. No talking about weddings was allowed, just wandering around Copenhagen, eating vegan pastry (to-die-for Spandauer at the Bistro Verde), and soaking up all of the hygge vibes. It was just what we needed to reset and remember why we were doing all this in the first place.
Life Lesson #3: Communication is key.
A big project will always involve at least one other person, and if communication breaks down, stress will skyrocket. My partner and I weren’t a well-oiled planning machine at the start. We’d never taken on anything this complex together, and figuring out how to divide tasks, share updates, and make decisions took time.
Early on, we established a system that worked for us: clear task assignments, regular check-ins (usually over coffee in the morning), and deciding which topics needed face-to-face discussions versus quick texts or emails.
After a while, it worked nicely, kept us moving forward—and kept misunderstandings to a minimum.
Life Lesson #4: Being busy all the time is addictive.
You may have heard that it takes 21 days to make something a habit? It apparently may actually take six months for that to become your new normal. And, omg, does it ever apply to a slammed-to-capacity schedule! There comes a point where the chaos - the unending lists, the constant busyness - fades out and is no longer overwhelming, it's just. normal. Routine. Like this is who I am now.
But here's the kicker: slowing down is necessary and healthy, but hard. Uncomfortably hard. When you've been in busy-bee mode for so long, stopping feels unnatural. That's where I am right now: trying to figure out how to be okay with a little boredom.
Life Lesson #5: Visualize the finish line.
Big projects are a lot, right? It's so easy to get absolutely sucked into the chaos and lose sight of why you're doing it in the first place. But here's a little trick: from the very beginning, try to picture the finish line. Like, what's it going to feel like when this is all done? What are you gonna do? Will you throw a party? Book a trip? Take a nap so long it qualifies as hibernation?
And here it is, the big one: give yourself permission to actually slow down when you get there. Sit in the quiet for a minute. Reflect on what you just did, because it's probably huuuuge. Soak up the joy of having finished and let yourself rest and recharge before you dive headfirst into the next big thing.
Seriously, it has been a wild ride of a year. Craaaazy! And now I just need to sit here and be for a second. Process it all. I am so very grateful not only for the people who joined me on this crazy ride but also for what I have learned and the experiences that have grown me and made me feel a rainbow of feelings.
But my tummy's growling now, and my brain is chanting “lunchlunchlunch”. (Food = serious business over here.) Perhaps a nap will follow. A quick one. Oh, wait — change “quick” for “lavish.” That feels more appropriate.
Before I go, though: Did you ever shoulder a massive project? And did it teach you a life lesson that I could add to my list?
Wishing you planty of wisdom to embrace life's abundance,
Ramona
Psst... you'll love Portia Nelson's "Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters" and Create Good New Year's Resolutions.
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