Ever have one of those days where everything goes wrong, and you just want to crawl under a blanket? Same. But I’ve found that a few simple mindset shifts can make all the difference. If you’ve ever wondered how to stay calm in any situation, these four questions have helped me keep my cool when life feels like a mess—I hope they’ll help you, too.
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In This Post:
Yesterday was one of those days.
The kind where the universe seems to have a personal vendetta against you. You know those, right? Little things kept going wrong, the kind of things that would have left me frustrated and overwhelmed a few years ago.
But not yesterday.
Something was definitely different. I actually stayed pretty chill throughout the whole crazy thing and was even feeling good and inspired come evening. In fact, it was a surprisingly great day!
So, what was it, exactly, that made the difference? What helped me feel okay, even when everything was going a bit sideways?
I sat down and reflected ... and realized that, without even thinking about it, I had been following the four questions I’m about to share with you. Maybe they’ll help turn things around for you on a crazy day, too.
But first, for context, these are two of the weird things that happened yesterday. Pretty sure you’ll relate.
Two Weird Things That Didn't Go to Plan
Weird Thing #1: I Lost My Annual Pass
The day started off beautifully. Sunny, warm, and perfect for a long walk through the palace gardens of Schwetzingen with a good friend.
And then I lost my annual pass. We searched under the blossoming cherry trees, retraced our steps, checked every pocket and bag. Nothing. I was frustrated. I rarely lose things, and for the next ten minutes, I couldn’t shake the feeling. It nagged at me, pulling me out of the moment, making it impossible to enjoy the park or the company.
Then my friend suggested we check the main entrance in case someone had turned it in. I felt a tiny flicker of hope, though I didn’t think it was likely. But having a plan changed everything—I wasn’t just stuck in the frustration anymore. Slowly, I started to enjoy the walk again, the birds, the light conversation. And then a thought hit me: maybe losing the pass wasn’t all bad. If I had to buy a new one, I’d be contributing to the preservation of this beautiful place. And if someone else found it and decided to keep it? Well, maybe it would bring them joy.
When we reached the main entrance, the friendly attendant beamed as he handed me my pass. Someone had found it and turned it in. Just like that. The kindness of a stranger turned my frustration into gratitude. I was so happy I hugged the attendant on the spot. He laughed and hugged me back—pretty sure we both walked away with brighter moods.
Lesson learned: Keep the faith. Not just in finding lost things, but in people.
Just when I thought the weirdness of the day was over, it threw me another curveball…
Weird Thing #2: My Cash Card Got Locked
A few hours later, I was at the post office, shipping four packages. Some needed insured shipping, some were going abroad ... it took a while. Finally, the total came up, and I went to pay.
And then I typed the wrong PIN. Not once. Not twice. Three times. My card got locked. No way to pay. The line behind me got longer. The clerk’s patience got shorter. Not ideal.
A few years ago, I probably would have panicked, apologized a thousand times, or left feeling embarrassed. But I had my lost-and-found pass story fresh in my mind. There had to be a silver lining. I took a deep breath, told the clerk I’d come back with cash, and left for the nearest ATM.
And here’s the funny part: When I returned, I realized I’d accidentally chosen a shipping option that was more expensive than necessary. Fixing it saved me a decent amount of money. So, weirdly, locking my card worked in my favor.
Lesson learned: Sometimes, the best reaction is to roll with it and see where it leads.
How to Stay Calm in Any Situation: 4 Impactful Questions
Next time something goes sideways, try asking yourself these questions. They might just turn a frustrating moment into something unexpectedly positive.
1. Okay, what can I actually do about this right now?
Think about the steps you can take to try and fix it. Having a plan, even a small one, makes you feel less helpless. Even if you can't totally fix it, you'll know you gave it your best shot.
2. Is there any tiny little good thing that could come out of this?
Maybe it's just a lesson learned (like me being more careful with my pass!), or maybe it's something unexpected like saving money. There's often a little something if you look for it.
3. Could this actually be good for someone else?
Think about it – if you lose a twenty, and someone else finds it, they're probably pretty happy! Believing that something annoying for you might make someone else's day can actually make it easier to let go.
4. How can I be nice to the people involved?
Even if it's not their fault, being friendly, smiling, explaining things calmly, and maybe even offering a compliment can totally change the vibe. People are more likely to want to help you if you're nice, and that can help sort things out faster. Even if it doesn't, at least everyone leaves feeling a bit more connected.
And finally: when things get sorted (or even if they don't!), give someone a hug! Seriously. It just makes things a little better.
2 Great Self-Help Books
I’ve learned a lot about managing stress and shifting my mindset through books. If you love reading and find books helpful, here are two recommendations on staying calm when life gets messy.
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Richard Carlson’s Don't Sweat the Small Stuff is packed with simple, practical reminders to help you keep perspective when things don’t go as planned. It’s been around for decades, but the insights are just as relevant today as they were in the ’90s when it was first published.
The latest addition to the series, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Every Day (2024), offers a mindful reminder for each day of the year. This is perfect if you enjoy daily bite-sized inspiration.
Feeling Good
The questions I asked myself about finding the upside in tough situations are inspired by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you’re curious to dive deeper into that, Feeling Good by David Burns is a fantastic guide to rewiring negative thought patterns (not only for depression).
So, what about you? Have you ever had a day where everything went sideways, but you somehow managed to turn it around? Or maybe you're still figuring out how to stay calm in any situation? I’d love to hear what works for you—any go-to tricks or unexpected lessons. Share your thoughts below (because we can all use a little more calm in our lives).
Wishing you planty of calm vibes,
Ramona
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